Deeper Wholes free essay sample

Eighteen years ago I fell down a rabbit hole, blue-eyed and full of curiosity. Since then I have had many adventures and become aquatinted with numerous bizarre characters. I have learned ways to grow smaller, been accused of theft, and been led astray. I wandered aimlessly about elementary school and junior high as an outcast, perpetually reading books from behind bangs and thick glasses. I soon saw there were many paths to chose among, signs pointed every which way: Math, English, French, History, Hebrew, Science, Music, Art. While I despised mathematics, I was drawn to writing and English. I would sit at the computer for hours making up stories out of my head. And they were good. I knew that they were, for as the years passed I began to get my work published. After my parents went their separate ways, I would often spend Sundays having tea with the Mad Hatter, but around my fourteenth year, he stopped offering me cakes or sugar in my tea. We will write a custom essay sample on Deeper Wholes or any similar topic specifically for you Do Not WasteYour Time HIRE WRITER Only 13.90 / page Instead he served helpings of tofu and brown rice onto my plate. And we no longer dined alone for a slim, red-headed creature had joined the party and I was no longer the guest of honor. Feeling rejected and unloved I set off in search of a way to regain my rightful place at the tea party. I stumbled upon a box of pills that said, Swallow me, with the promise that I would decrease in size. Happily I would spend my hard-earned baby-sitting money on the little orange pals and before I knew it I could fit into my childhood blue dress and apron. Though I was pale, weak, and emaciated, I looked like Daddys little girl. In high school I met a friend named Narcissus. We spent much time together, and although I was quite mindful of her shallow, self-centered ways, I never thought she would intentionally hurt me. However on one particular afternoon, we came upon some tarts which belonged to her majesty the queen. My companion insisted we sample a few but I was proud of my ever-shrinking size, and to me, eating tarts was the equivalent of ingesting acid. Nevertheless Narcissus placed one in my hand and I stared at it in frustration as she devoured a couple. I was so caught up in the smell and texture of the pastry resting in the palm of my hand that I did not notice a guard appear. However Narcissus had spotted him and ran off, quick as the White Rabbit. The guard summoned the Queen and I was blamed for stealing the tarts. My explanations flew over their heads like smoke from a chimney; particles of irrelevancy. I reasoned that the whole accusation was really quite silly, for in my twisted mind, ingesti ng a tart would be a far greater punishment than decapitation. Over at my place of learning, I met a caterpillar who liked to smoke from a funny-looking device he called a hookah. Perched on a mushroom, he would ask me who I was and I began to ponder that question. I knew I was no longer Daddys little princess and Mommie was seeing a new man as well. I was not a mathematician nor a social butterfly. I had gotten very thin but I realized that was not making me happy either. I had incorrectly assumed that as soon as I got thin, really thin, my jigsaw puzzle-like existence would fall into place and show me an arrow of which way to go. I was wrong. Sometimes I feel like I am being chased. The Queen and her guards, the Mad Hatter and his new companion all filled with accusations and threats. I run as fast as my white-stockinged legs can carry me but it is never fast enough. For I cannot run away from myself. All of my life I have felt that I never measure up. Too big, too small, too fast, too slow, there always seems to be some imperfection or flaw. However, unlike the caterpillar, I do not wish to spend the rest of my days smoking on a mushroom, never realizing all the beauty and potential I possess. I want to spread my wings and be all the colors of the rainbow. I want to shed my blue dress and apron and fly off toward new adventures and relationships. It is time. fl